sonot na eden starec

-Cudno studenilo ja oblea mojata dusa. dodeka cekorev po mekata i rosna treva pomisliv na stradanjeto,na nemanjeto milost,na toa kolku lugjeto se surovi.

kade bese pocitta sprema sozdanieto,sprema covestvoto koe bese potonato vo sopstveniot ocaj i bolka.

bev covek kako i site drugi i vo mojot takanarecen zivot ziveev so mnogubrojni slabosti i pravev greski. tolku cesto bev izguben.

se dodeka ne ja sretnav nea.

bese kako utrinsko sonce koe me ogrea vo migovite koga sakav da se otkazam od samiot sebe.

nejzinoto ime bese lara,i bese ubava na svoj nacin. iako vo moite oci bese kako nebesen svod so nejzinite temnoplavi oci i izitren od.

cekorese samouvereno,so naglasena samodoverba i precizno kako balerina.

kako da ja poseduvase ulicata.

nikogas ne i rekov nitu eden zbor,samo nemo ja nabljuduvav od prozorecot na mojata kuka.

bev starec,smrtta bese gostinot koj go ocekuvav sekojdnevno. no,imav vrutok,imav kopnez a toa bese da ja nabljuduvam princezata lara.

taa me potsekase tolku zivo na mojata nepovtorliva mladost,na mojata sila koga mislev deka se e vozmozno. i bese na nekoj cuden neplaniran nacin.

i uspeav,stanav bogat,patuvav niz svetot,imav ljubov no nikade ne pustiv korenja,ne sozdadov dom. ne pronajdov sopatnik. ne pronajdov idealna zena. a sega ja gledav lara sekoe utro i si mislev eve ja,taa e mojata muza,mojot ideal. ne poradi ubavinta,tuku poradi plemenitata priroda koja zracese od nejze.

bese neverojatno samouverena. bezstrasna. vistinski karakter.

taa ednostavno go pleni moeto starecko srce.

i zasekogas kje ostane tamu,zakopana dlaboko vo moeto srce.

barem Edno znam ja vidov so svoi oci svojata muza.

lara-sonot koj ne mi pripagase.

 

Advertisements

taga

-Mislev deka potonav vo sebesi poradi svoeto neznaeenje,kolku svetot e cuden i nepopravlivo beskrajno dosadno mesto za ziveenje. rajot,sto bese toa?! kakva e tau svetlina koja lugjeto ja baraa i zosto nemozev da se setam na nisto kolku i da se obiduvav?

licnost koja ne se sekava na svojata traga,na svojot pat,na svojata cel i na celoto svoe bitisuvanje kako kopnez od koj nemase apsolutno nikakvi nameri da se otkaze.

bolno,no vistinito site se spravuvavme na razlicen nacin so svojata sudbina i ne gi vodevme bitkite sekogas pravedno. znaevme mnogu da stradame da nanesuvame bolka,da bideme nefer sprema drugite,kako tie da mora da se potcinat na nasite zelbi i sonista. bevme zarazeni od negativnost,od sebicnost,se gusevme od podmolen strav od otfrlanje.

ne sakavme po nikoja cena da ostaneme sami,kolku samo se trudevme da ne bideme napusteni,duri i bog go molevme so seta sila da ne ne napusti,da bide sekogas so nas!

kolku baranjata rastea,rastea tolku poveke i nasite aspiracii, se zgolemuvaa nasite nadezi i tolku poveke smetavme deka zasluzuvame poveke i posilno baravme. celite ni stanuvaa se posebicni,metodite za nivno ostvaruvanje se polukavi a nacinot opravdan.

ne,nemase mesto za slabost vo nasite srca i taka pominuvaa denovite. ponekogas vo strasno samosozaluvanje i neracionalna gordost no sekogas bucno vnatre vo nas iako odnadvor tivko i so licemerna vedrina sprema nadvoresniot svet.

taga’sto bese toa?solza proleana za edna pominata mladost,za eden spomen,otkinata kako cvet od najubava gradina i frlena na zeskoto sonce da se isusi da se peplosa da se pretvori vo seno kako i sekoja obicna trevka.

da, za zal nikoj nemase pocit sprema cvekinjata,sprema nivniot opoen miris i trud da gi zadovolat setilata so svojata raznolikost.

sto bese tagata koja od den na den se povekje me izmacuvase i me pravese nesreken?!

tagata bese mojata strasna senka koja me sledese sekade kade kje se svrtev. tonev od nejzinata mok nad mojot duh koj sekojdnevno se izmacuvase niz sekjavanjeto za eden promasen zivot koj mi dade se,osven parce sreka!

megjutoa tagata ne bese samo vo mene,taa bese ednostavno nasekade,bese prisutna duri i vo sivite oblaci,nemirnite reki,tivkite vetrovi i sonceto imase sopstvena taga koga se razdeluvase od svojata sakana zemja,od svoite planini so tolku visoki vrvovi frlajki im gi poslednite nezaboravni zraci.

se imase svoj tek,svoja sopstvena taga i svoi pricini za nesreka!

 

 

avtor na tekstot: Sanja Stevceva ,14/12/2017.

365 dena bez tebe

-ne znaev ednostavno kade kje me odnese zivotot,sepak se nadevav do posleden zdiv.

ocekuvav premnogu od idninata a bev zakopan do gusa vo minatoto koe me pritiskase i ne mi davase da ziveam vo segasnosta. covekot stanuva se polos vo odnos na sebesi vo nedez deka so strogost i samodisciplina kje najde spas od senkite na beznadeznosta.

kolku li samo pati padnav a kolku tesko se iskacuvav recisi ocaen da se pronajdam sebe. no seto toa e samo privid ,óbicen privid kako i se ostanato.

se tesev bez da sfattam deka segasnosta nikogas nema da se vrati a nasite plodovi treba da gi ragame sega i tuka a ne za nekoi idni vreminja. cudno no vistinito zvuci da se bide razlicen od drugite ima nekakva vrednost. site nie ne sme rodeni za ista cel. nekoi ja pronaogaat vednas i tuka a nekoi pominuvaat dolgi pateki.

se e slucajnost i edna bezvremenska koincidencija ZA ZAL.

Naogame koga prestanuvame da barame.

i oddednas ne cuvstvuvame vekje mir tuku strast,zelba da sozdavame se poveke i poveke.

mirot ne napusta i se sveduva na besmrtnost ,obzemeni sme od vecnata kreacija na kosmosot i kako da gi redi nestata vo nasa polza kako ednostavno da znae vselenata koj kade tocno pripaga. i znam ne e spored plan i programa. toa e ednostavno misterijata na zivotot.

365 dena bez tebe e tekst posveten na site koi izgubile nekogo. .i seuste se borat!

power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely!

-As you all can see the past of Republic of Macedonia is a dead issue, and nobody can’t gain any momentum moving toward the future if we are dragged into the past.We must all forget those struggles for who will lead ,who will be in charge and concentrate on our national interest. That is the future of Macedonia towards EU AND NATO.

Macedonian people are not to be blamed for their low incomes, they are a hard working people but the problem is that the private sector is too much exhausted with the burden of uneducated mass. Most of them gain they knowledge by passing with corruption thats why young people are not fighting with legal methods in this country instead they are using the technology of manipulation and humiliation with one another with one single goal to frighten our intelligence to run from our country in fear that there is no place for them in such environment. Like there is no fair competition and selection from the best. and this is like an illness on all levels in the country. Fear, humiliation and manipulation.

We create our world, and it suppose to be a world of morality ,friendship and practicing the law for the whole society to prosper.

Macedonia has a future if people and their thinking change as like if they change their attitude.Macedonia once again proved that although right now we have new prime minister people still go to work, still have faith that things will improve, and yet they don’t want to lose the freedom to call them selves Macedonians!!

 

Success

Success in life its what you do for others while you grow to reach your maximum potential.

we all must learn how to serve, to show compassion and strong will to help others.

when i was younger i wanted to travel far away to serve the poor..however that wasn’t my destiny. i was good with words and every time i spoke or write i used them to deliver some kind of a message to deliver wisdom, happiness and joy!

all of us are born for some reason, thats why we need to explore our talents to find our true passion.  the columnist Whit Hobbs wrote:

“Success is waking up in the morning

whoever you are,wherever you are,

however old or young,

and bounding out of bed because there is something

out there that you love to do,

that you believe in,

that you are good at-

something thats its bigger than you are…

i believe in dreams.but also in actions!

never lose faith in yourself!

 

prikazanata za dzejn

-dzejn ne mozese da se seti na pricinata za nejziniot zivot,kako nekoj i dal tableta za spienje i ne mozese da se razbudi poveke. se i se cinese tolku temno,kako celoto nebo da bese sivo i pokrieno so temni oblaci. taa ja pregrnuvase temninata od edna neverna ljubov sto bese osudena na smrt no ne poradi nea.

bese poradi nego. tom bese gubitnikot.i tie konecno se razveduvaa i eventualno nestata vekje nema da bidat isti se kje se promeni zasekogas.

taa si veti na sebesi deka kje bide silna i deka nema da dade pet pari za celata ovaa situacija. no bese dosta bolno za nea.

taa bese vo los son,postojano sonuvajki kako nestata trebase da bidat pomegju niv dvajcata. i nedostasuvase tom,nejziniot veren drugar,nejziniot maz toj i bese se i nisto vo ovoj mig.

tom ja predade. spiese so druga zena i samo bog znae kolku mnogu pati,a taa bese postara i blondinka. mnogu razlicna od dzejn.

i sega dzejn se cuvstvuvase osameno i tazno i ne znaese kako da im kaze na svoite prijateli,familija i svojot 6 godisen sin.

taa se samosozaluvase nikogas ne pomisluvase kako moze ova da i se sluci nejze,na niv. barem ne na niv dvajca. tolku mnogu se sakaa eden so drug. bea odlicen par. barem dzejn taka mislese.

mozebi bese naivna i idealisticna no sekogas veruvase vo bajki. vo vistinska i beskrajna ljubov. vo sozdadeni eden za drug.

no,sega se bese zavrseno za nea. kje ima razvod i kje sledi podelba na se i komu kje mu pripadne pravoto na staratelstvo. a tom kje bide vreden podarok za taa zena. err.. tom najdobroto sustestvo na celiot svet,so negovite sini oci i topla nasmevka.. si mislese dzejn.

tom izgledase i se odnesuvase mnogu cudno i somnitelno vo posledno vreme,kako da kriese nesto od nejze..docni proekti,cudni povici preku telefon,razlicna mirizba na negovata garderoba. dzejn odluci da go sledi. gi vide togas pred restoran se baknuvaa strastveno kako dvajca zaljubeni. toa bese migot. taa znaese deka tom imase afera so taa zena i posle cela nok karanici tom i prizna konecno.

i toa bese krajot megju niv.

najverojatno mu e poprivlecna i pointeresna otkolku jas,mozebi mnogu ubavo se oseka pokraj nea izgleda deka nikogas nema da doznaam…pomisli dzejn.

telefonot gi prekina nejzinite misli.

 

 

P R O D O L Z U V A…..

 

SLEDETE JA DZEJN!

 

THE STORY OF JANE by Sanja Stevceva

-Jane could not remember the purpose of her life,as someone gave her sleeping pill,she can’t wake up anymore.

everything seemed so dark,the whole sky was gray and filled with dark clouds. she was embracing the darkness of unfaithful love,from love that was condemned of dead and it wasn’t because of her. it was because of HIM.

Tom was the loser,he lost her,and finally they were getting a divorce and eventually things will change forever. she promised herself that she will be strong,and she will not give a damn about this whole situation. but it was painful after all.

she was in a bad dream,constantly dreaming how things were supposed to be among them. she missed her tom,her companion. he was everything and nothing right now for her. tom betray her. he slept with another women and lord knows how many times,and that woman was older then him and blond,very different from jane actually.

and now jane was feeling lonely and depressed and didn’t know how to tell her family,her friends and her six year old boy. she felt sorry for herself,she never thought that this could happen to her,to them. not to them.

perhaps she was so naive and idealistic,but she always somehow believed in fairy tales. in true and endless love. in soulmates. and she hardly believed that there could be second chance for experiencing true and real emotions.pure and invisible to the others.

but now everything was over for her.

 

-to be continued-

-PRODOLZUVA-

-sledi produzetak-